Today I didn’t enjoy being a mum


That sounds awful doesn’t it! But it’s true.

The moment I opened my eyes my daughter was asking the same thing she asks every day and suddenly it felt like Groundhog Day. I immediately felt irritated that every single morning we have the same moany requests.

The morning was filled with meltdowns and tantrums about the slightest thing (the children, not me, although I would have liked to join in). We had a playdate with my friend but the children decided to take it in turns in clinging on to me and crying or fussing about everything. They want the “blue plate”, or “2 yogurts”, or lunch 10 minutes ago, or no lunch. Nothing I was doing was right. Not helped by the fact that I don’t feel 100% myself after a few days of having the flu. I couldn’t talk to my friend at all, and could tell you nothing about what she has been doing in the last few weeks because I couldn’t think straight with all the crying and moaning.

Cleaning the floor for the sixth time in 4 hours; I felt trapped in my own life. Is this it? What am I doing? Why did I think staying home with my children is a good idea? There seems no escape and I’m not sure I even like doing it. If I was offered an ‘exit card’, would I take it? Right in that moment maybe I would have.

I envied those at work and wondered if working outside of the house (more than the few hours I run baby massage sessions) was the way forward. The ticket to time away and time to breathe without being clung on to, cried at, moaned at, demanded to.

What could I do? Scream maybe? Shout perhaps? I chose cry. I say chose, that’s not really true, crying chose me and I had no choice. I sat and sobbed. My children were stunned. My nearly 3-year-old climbed onto my lap and said “why are you sad mummy?”. I explained that I had had enough and she just sat and hugged me. She hugged me like a comforting adult, and then dried my tears with a wet wipe.

My daughter comforted me, whilst my baby son tried playing peekaboo. Right then I remembered! That was it, that was why I love being a mum. In that moment, the love she was able to show me reminded me why I do it and why I love it. However, upset, infuriated, cross or overwhelmed I feel we have an unconditional love, we are a family and we look after each other. Those we love are the ones that can push us to the edge, yet they are also the ones that can pull us back as quickly.

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Comments 26

  1. I feel for you. My toddler has been like this pretty much for a week straight now. She is waking for hours in the night too. I really don’t know what is wrong with her but I am feeling very frazzled! I couldn’t help myself the other day; my toddler was mid tantrum and I burst out crying. Hated myself for doing so. But then she came over and put her blankie against my face (what she does for comfort) and gave me a big hug.

    They really do test our patience don’t they but the cute little things they do more than make up for it 🤗

  2. I can definitely empathise with this feeling. It’s great that our kids can help us just as much as we help them, with a hug or a kind word or anything which reminds us why they are so special. My son has done this with me before and it’s so powerful. Funny how they can drive us to distraction and then fill us so full of love we feel we’ll burst the next minute!!

    1. It really is isn’t it! I guess its mother natures way of keeping the human race going. Our children can really push us, then the next minute they are so lovely that all is forgiven. Thanks very much for your comment 🙂 xx

  3. Oh, this was Sunday in our house. From the moment they awoke, the moans. Where do they learn moaning anyway? And the moans to increase and feed off of each other — they then fill the room. Deep breathing. Quiet, happy place. Oy. We are all in that place from time to time. #BigPinkLink

    1. Ah, thank you Lisa. Its good to know others can relate! I know, moaning is so annoying!! The other day my daughter said “don’t moan mummy”! I couldn’t believe it. It made me laugh! I think my husband would argue that she gets it from me. (Not at all true, I never moan 😉 )
      Thanks for your comment xx

  4. I have plenty of days like these, with four children there are far too many of these days for my liking, but like you say, as much as they drive us crazy they soon win us back round. I hope you have far better days! #eatsleepblogRT

  5. Parenting is hard. It is like they know when we are vulnerable and go full pelt to wear us down at that moment. In truth, I think we just deal with things less well when we are not 100% and then every small difficulty escalates. #bigpinklink

  6. I know this feeling. I love my son but some days i just can’t cope with him, even if he’s only doing minor things it just wears me down. But little acts of love like this make all the difference, don’t they? x #bigpinklink

  7. Oh, lovely, I have had many a days like this but we have to remember that we are allowed to have days like this.Your last sentence says it all – our family is the one who pulls us back in and reminds us that it is all worth it. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

  8. Oh we’ve all been there – and I think there must’ve been something in the air on Monday, as we were all there! As a SAHM it can sometimes feel like it’s groundhog day and there is no escape, especially if it seems like others around are having a better time. But it’s good to remember it’s not for ever, the children to grow up very, very quickly. And you’re not alone
    You have a lovely daughter who’s obviously learnt how to be empathetic from you – so cute
    Hope you have a good week

  9. It’s the little things that can sometimes pull us back from the brink. And it’s nice to know that even young children can show a kind of compassion. It’s all too easy to put on a brave face and soldier on. Maybe showing our children how we really feel is a good thing.

    Thank you for joining us on the #MMBC.


  10. Yes I have had plenty of days like this too. My two can drive me absolutely insane, but on the other hand, they give the best cuddles ever! 🙂

    Thanks so much for joining in with #MMBC. Hope you can make it next week x

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