Anyway, I thought to save constant arguments I would put together a list of things NOT to say (as well as some helpful comments). This is to help my own husband and anyone else in his position (by his position, I mean the partner who sleeps all night and doesn’t have to see to the children). What NOT to say
- “God I’m tired.” This is the TOP of the list for a reason! What!? How are you tired? You sleep ALL night! Please, please don’t say you are tired. You could risk losing a very vital body part if this is said after a particularly bad night. It is like having a cough and moaning to someone with no lungs that you are struggling to breathe.
- “That was a good night wasn’t it?” NO, the answer is nearly always NO. It was not a good night! You don’t know if it is a bad or good night as you were asleep, so probably just best not to comment and ask how the night was.
- “Did they sleep through?” I explode at that one. If they slept through I wouldn’t be waking up with huge bags under my eyes, hiding under the duvet trying to pretend I’m not there. I would spring out of bed in celebration and I promise you and everyone else would know about it!
- “I could do with a lie in”. Are you off your head? A lie in!!!! When I sleep even one night all the way through, you can have your lie in!
- “Have you tried…?” (insert helpful suggestion). Don’t make any suggestions. I, of course, have tried everything I can think of. Sometimes there is no solution!
- Bob at work said that his baby has slept through since he was 2 weeks old. Well bully for Bob! Bob is never welcome over again with talk like that.
Helpful things to say
- “You are doing a wonderful job! Thank you so much for everything you do, we really appreciate it.”
- “What can I do to help?” My husband does do this sometimes and I love him for it.
- “Tomorrow you spend the day in bed and I will wait on you hand and foot.” (We can all dream)
- “Let me pay for you to stay in a hotel ALONE to sleep” (In the same vain as the above and also probably not actually going to happen but the thought is nice)
- “I will buy you diamonds, jewellery and a lifetime supply of chocolate.” (ok, maybe this one is unrealistic but still nice to be appreciated)
- I have heard that children that don’t sleep are highly intelligent. This is one of my favourites and was said by my mummy friends earlier this week. Thanks for that!
So I hope this clears things up and saves at least one argument in those sleep deprived months.