We all like hearing a good luck story; we celebrate our own good luck and may share our good news with others. I love hearing when my friends are lucky, for example win a competition, or an opportunity presents itself that they didn’t think was likely. Let’s face it, we all hope to be lucky! So why am I writing this? Why would I not want to hear of people’s good luck? Not because I am a Grinch, or don’t want good things happening for others.
I love to hear about your good fortune, except in one situation…When it is said in relation to a baby or child, to a person sharing their story, which is the opposite of lucky. This mostly happens on social media and occasionally in person at baby and toddler groups.
Let me explain. I am not talking about statements like ‘I am lucky to have had him, or ‘I’m lucky I had a healthy pregnancy’ or ‘I feel so lucky to have my babies’ not in that way.
To give you some examples…
A desperate mother posts on a Facebook forum,
“my 11-month-old wakes so many times in the night! I’m exhausted and nothing I do works, any tips or anyone else experienced this?”
You will inevitably find a response like, “I’m lucky, we never had this problem, mine have always slept 7-7”
Why? Why say it? Why do people feel the need to share their ‘luck’ in this situation when another is desperately trying to find others that relate?
‘my 2-year-old son is always pushing other children, it’s so embarrassing and I tell him off but he doesn’t seem to care’
‘sorry babe, no advice here, my children have just never done this. I’m lucky I guess’
It doesn’t stop at babies or little ones but continues throughout childhood.
‘My daughter is struggling at school with reading, any tips or things I can do to help?’
‘Oh, that’s hard ☹ I’m lucky, my children all learnt really easily and now on the highest reading level, we struggle because they have run out of reading material at school to stretch them’
Blurgh!!! JUST DON’T SAY IT!!! Think it, be glad it’s not you, but don’t say it!
If I ran every mother’s internet forum and baby group I would ban the phrase ‘I’m lucky.’ It helps no one and is NEVER a helpful statement!
They don’t even offer any advice. They literally just gloat. It’s so infuriating. Would they that do this is person? Their friend tells them they have Just left their partner, would they say “oh, I’m lucky, I have a great relationship?” I doubt it.
If you have any friends that do this on public forums, please tell them to stop. It just makes everyone struggling with whatever the issue, feel rubbish. (And secretly hope that if the gloater has more children they are awful sleepers, fussy eaters, have challenging behaviour).
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*This post was first published on the fabulous Meet Other Mums website