I used to be a wonderful mum. Honestly, really brilliant. I had all the answers. I knew what to do in any given situation. I tried to see everything through children’s eyes to see why they would respond in certain ways. I had so many ideas of fun things we could do together. I had energy and time. I could offer advice and support to friends with any parenting issue they may have. I rocked.
What changed I hear you cry…?
I had children of my own!
I know this is a common thing, we are all experts until we live the reality.
Now I’m filled with indecision, second guessing, exhaustion and bright ideas that actually weren’t so bright after all. i.e. fill the outdoor water tray with flour and water. Turns out that just makes a thick paste that is very hard to get off of walls and sofas! I used to think I would be a ‘pintrest mum’ you know the one, who does loads of crafty, baking, fun things with their children. I’m not! Although I have actually made my first batch of biscuits, admittedly they were burnt and my children didn’t actually want to them, but it’s a start.
I now meet parenting experts all the time, those who don’t have children. They too have the same enthusiasm, ideas, patience and answers I once had. I miss those self-assured, excellent parenting days!
It turns out that I am the muddling through, getting it wrong, getting it right, not always knowing what to do, easily distracted, spend too much time on my phone, try my best, kind of parent. I am as good a parent as any other. Unfortunately I’m not that perfect mum, but I am the only mum my children have and hopefully to them I am good enough.